False Start!

Damn "On Demand" version of the 30 Day Shred expired and they only have Level 2. I went to the gym and did 30 min. of cardio, but now it looks like I need to head out and get the DVD. Probably a good thing so I can do the workout anywhere in the house and not just downstairs where the cable box is.

30 Day Shred: Day 1, Level 1

I need to get myself a set of 3 pound weights instead of the 5 pound weights, pronto! Actually I found that I was cool with the 5 pound weights until we got to the shoulder raises. The first workout was rough after the first round of cardio and my calves hurt from the "jump rope" exercise, but I felt strong by the end.


Then I tried to lift a pot of chili out of our fridge and I realized I got a better workout than I thought. We'll see how I feel tomorrow for Day 2!

I also need to take a "Before" pic, but for now I just have my measurements. Please note that I am beyond bloated from Christmas face stuffing, so the measurements are a little inflated (so to speak!).

My beginning measurements-all done on my right side:

• Arm: 13 inches
• Upper thigh at biggest point: 25 inches
• Calf: 15 1/2 inches
• Upper waist: 33 inches
• Waist at belly button: 35 inches
• Hips at widest point: 41 inches
• Bust: 40 inches (but I'm still breastfeeding)
• Bra line: 34 inches (actually surprised by this)

On top of doing Day 1 I ran a mile on the treadmill at the gym. I haven't run or worked out since the Turkey Trot 5k on Thanksgiving, so I didn't want to kill myself and it was a super easy run.

My extended holiday is over

Time to get back into the groove of blogging, watching what I eat and all that fun stuff! I stepped on the scale last night, but I'm not even going to report that weight b/c I'm hoping most of it is water weight from splurging since the 23rd. Still doing Weight Watchers, but have definitely hit a mental plateau with the program. As of last week I was down to 166.6, for a total of 19.8 pounds lost in 10 weeks. I just have to remember that it's a journey and not a race.

George & I are going on a trip to Mexico in less than a month, so I need to step up my game. I'm going to start doing the 30 Day Shred tonight since I have heard good things about it and the amount of time required is right up my alley since Elliott only naps for 30 mins on average. I plan on getting to the gym about three times on top of that and tracking my points again.

Tonight I will brave the camera and take some "Before" pics and measurements.

Weight Watchers...again

I wish I knew what it was that made one attempt more successful than another when it comes to weight loss. Then I could conjur up that motivation and lose weight whenever I wanted. This time around I think it had to do with Elliott getting close to turning one and "just having a baby" not being an excuse anymore. Seeing my friend who joined Weight Watchers and who was losing weight and getting attention for it also helped. I admit that I was hesitant to sign up again because I've done it and quit before, even though I had success losing over 30 pounds several years ago. I know it works, but sometimes I think it's a bit cheesy and it's not completely my style. So this time I joined and decided meetings were the only way to go. So far, so good! Here are my stats:


Week 1: 186.4

Week 2: 179.8 6.6 lb. lost

Week 3: 177.6 2.2 lb. lost

Week 4: 173.0 4.6 lb. lost

Week 5: 174.2 +1.2 (oops!) I think it had to do with wearing very light clothing in Week 4

Week 6: 171.0 3.2 lb. lost

Week 7: 168.8 2.2 lb. lost

So far it's a grand total of 17.6 pounds lost in 7 weeks, yay! This past week I hit my pre-pregnancy weight just by the skin of my teeth before Elliott turned one (I was 170). Only .4 pounds to my 10% goal and then I'll reevaluate my next goal.

Mr. Momentum

I really want to make something of this blog, but my momentum is lagging a bit. I think it's because I have so much on my mind, I don't even know where to begin. Among these things:

• Do we put our house on the market soon and buy up? The dang First Time Homebuyers Credit extension, low interest rates and pretty much bottomed out prices are tempting. So is having a mortgage that is less than our rent in NYC and being able to do whatever the heck we want to with our extra money (not like we're swimming in it, but we're comfortable).


• Doing good with Weight Watchers and have lost 15.4 pounds as of today and have one pesky pound to lose to get to pre-pregnancy weight, so I'm a bit obsessed lately. Of course then my mind wanders to the hefty amount of weight I really need to lose on top of that, ugh.


• VBAC, VBAC, VBAC! I had a c-section with Elliott last year and the more I learn, the less I feel it was necessary. This kills me since I wanted to go completely natural and was under the care of a midwife, but in the end I feel screwed over by her and wonder if it would have been different if the other midwife was on call that night. I really hope that when we decide to TTC #2 that I can find a good healthcare provider that is VBAC-friendly. We have already decided a doula is a must!

• One car or two? We've been living with only one for the past 9 years, but having a baby and a husband that can't always take public transportation is making it tricky. I'm still leaning towards one, but every other week this discussion is renewed. :)

$42,000

This is the most I've made in a year-EVER! I know money isn't everything, but when you live in a high cost of living area and are adjusting to life as a SAHM, it starts to creep into your thoughts. Not to mention that I have a frickin' Masters degree and got into several law schools, but decided to follow my heart instead. I started a business in 2005 and just sold it this year, so where does that leave me? Will I ever make more than 42k in a year? I know I'm worth more than that, but how do I accomplish that while doing something I love (or at least something that feels worthwhile vs. just a job) and lets me focus on my priority in life, which is my family?

I think this is where a lot of my Mommy Life Crisis feelings stem from and the answers I long for.

I'm officially married!

Well, I am finally wearing both my wedding band and engagement ring again. I remember the night my wedding band was too tight in my second trimester. I could feel the blood pooling up and the ring wouldn't budge. George told me just to go to sleep and try again in the morning, but this put me into complete panic mode and I felt claustrophobic. I put my hand above my head to try to help the blood come back down and out of my purple finger. Finally I decided I would either lose my finger or my ring if I had to wait one more second, so I went to the bathroom and soaked my hand under ice-cold water and put some Aveda pomade on the finger to make it extra slippery and it was a success!

So it has been a long 15+ months since I've worn both my rings and I went a long time without any rings at all. At first it felt very weird being pregnant without rings, but it was even weirder looking like a single mom after Elliott was born. The weight just didn't fly off me like it did my friends, but slowly but surely I am finally doing it thanks to rejoining Weight Watchers (deets to follow).

If I had to do it over again

I would wait to get a dog until the kids are older. I love my dog, I really do, but I feel like she makes things a lot harder. Elliott loves to look for her, play with her and go splashing in her bowl, but I'm at my wit's end with her. As mentioned, getting Elliott to sleep has taken a turn for the worse. Add to that a dog barking when my husband comes home or her peeking in on Elliott to see if he's still there and it just makes the issue that much more difficult to handle. Not to mention the big poop that I stepped on with my bare foot as I was trying to get Elliott out the door for music class today....

Sleepy, but awake stopped working

I am not of the Cry It Out school of thought, but don't know what to do right now. I used to nurse Elliott to sleep and he'd go down just fine, then he pretty much started going down drowsy but awake and put himself to sleep. That's gone completely out the window and he's so sensitive to being put down now. I will admit he is crying in his crib right now because I'm really at a loss, but I'll head in there in a minute. Now that he's getting closer to a year I'm worried about creating bad habits about going to bed. He's even gotten to the point that I can't put him down unless he's nursed off of the left breast last! Needless to say, this is my new parenting dilemma and I'm sure I'll have plenty to say about it later, now I must go tend to my no nap boy!

Healthy Halloween Party Food

This week will have plenty of yummy temptations, but I'm determined to make Halloween a little healthier this year. I officially rejoined Weight Watchers meetings almost four weeks ago and have lost 8 1/2 pounds so I don't want to mess it all up now that I have some momentum going. On Tuesday we have a weekly playgroup and it's going to be a Halloween party for the kiddos. I told the mom I would bring something healthy, so now the hunt is on. I also need it to be simple since I'm a novice cook at best!

Last night George made Oven-Baked Cinnamon Pumpkin Dumplings and they were SO good! Definitely on the list of options, but they need to be baked (duh) and I'm not sure if I want to go that route and either bring them cold or use the host's oven.

I did just find the cutest Spooky Black Bean Hummus and I think this might be something I can handle. The blogger also figured out the WW points (only 1, yay!) and besides the artwork involved in making the web, I think I can swing this. I might take the easy way out and just buy pre-made black bean dip. I'll post a picture of my attempt later!

Turning over a new leaf

Here I go again. I am so focused on doing things perfectly that I end up not doing them at all. I realized that this blog is not just about getting the right hook to build traffic, but it should be an outlet for me. Once again it became a chore because I didn't have the right focus and it wasn't really about making me happy, but rather about making my "audience" happy. Well that chapter is done and hopefully I can move on and not make that mistake again (at least for awhile since it is in my nature to do so).

Just like all moms, I have my daily struggles, some big and some small. I know I'm not the only one thinking about where I stand in this crazy world now that I'm a full-time SAHM. I also know that I'm not the only one that can't pick out the perfect winter hat off of Etsy and obsess over it until I just end up with something fugly from Target!

Anyways, this is my first step back into my writing world and I'm really looking forward to seeing where the journey takes me.

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 21

Well, this is the last day of my challenge. I started out weighing 183 and this morning I weighed in at 179. I have hit some mental and physical roadblocks in the past three weeks, but this is not the end of my quest to be healthier for myself and my son.

It didn't end with a great workout or super healthy day of eating, but I am much more mindful of my actions and realize that makes a huge difference for me. I want to try to find a widget for tracking my workouts since I think this is key, but I'm not having luck so far since I'm new to this whole blogging world.

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 20

Wisconsin State Fair, enough said! Actually because we went to the fair I got my walking in for the day no problem. I also could have eaten a lot worse than I did, this is true. What I did eat at the fair was:

Four bites of beef jerkey, a piece of chocolate covered bacon on a stick and a soft-shelled taco.

We also had a picnic with college friends after the fair and I started out OK, but did have a cupcake and a beer. My mom made bratwurst for my dad's birthday when we got home from that. I definitely have a love/hate relationship with the state of Wisconsin and visiting my parents! This is where I really need to start evaluating my relationship with food because this is where all the trouble began. Is it no wonder that Wisconsin is 25th in the nation for obese adults?

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 19

This blogging accountability/guilt seemed to help today. I had just done some catch up posts and realized I was fading fast with my challenge, so I put on my gym clothes and went to the gym right after I put Elliott down for his nap. I did 12 min. straight of running (slowly building up to my 5k again) and 20 min. on the elliptical. I've decided to use the indoor track at the old gym for $2 a pop because running on a treadmill seems to mess with my right knee. Plus I don't like the hamster feeling.


We were eating so well today and planned on buying some sushi from the supermarket when we got up to my parents' place, but my mom had other plans. It's our own fault for not being more proactive, but she ended up ordering Toppers pizza and breadsticks and I happily indulged. :( Nothing like your college pizza shop expanding and opening up shop right by your parents' house to make a girl lose her willpower).

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 18

Crap! What's up with me and Fridays? Have I ever worked out on a Friday during this challenge? I don't think so.

It was a rainy day outside, so no walks and by the time I could have worked out I didn't. I barely squeezed two 30 min. naps out of Elliott today and by the time he went to bed I just felt totally unmotivated. He goes to bed by 6:30-7:00 so I really could be working out, but I don't. I can't wait until he's feeling better so I can bring him to the gym again (will this just continue our cycle of sickness?). In the meantime I need to make working out a priority because life and stuffy noses are bound to happen and I can't use them as excuses to slack.

Eating today, eh. It was OK until the end of the day when we had a margarita pizza and a drink. Granted this isn't the worst and I'm sure ultimately my calories for the day were not totally out there, but it just didn't feel right after our splurging yesterday. This is how my spiral into bad eating starts, so I really need to keep on my toes this time and not slide too much.

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 17

Today was our 5th wedding anniversary!

My sister and her "friend" came down to babysit Elliott so we could go out for a celebratory dinner. Usually we just hang around the house when they are around, but since we had a couple hours to waste before dinner my sister and I took Elliott to the free zoo near our house. A fun and easy way to get 30 min. of activity in for the day and Elliott is starting to notice the animals!

We also took them out to lunch at On the Border and I got Pico Shrimp Tacos, but definitely overindulged in the chips and salsa, doh! Like I said, it's the little tweaks, right? If I wasn't mindful of my eating choices then it probably could have been a lot worse.

Of course we went out to eat for our anniversary and I personally don't feel that it was a time to think about calories or fat content. We enjoyed ourselves to the fullest and it was so nice to get out and be adults and not have to worry about somebody grabbing food from your plate. Scallops, cucumber martinis, lambchops, homemade Mounds Bar, mmmm.

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 16

Today I was stuck at home since we only have one car and George had to go into the city for work. My activity consisted of walking around the neighborhood and to the store and my food consisted of Lean Cuisine meals. This may not sound all that healthy, but it is a huge improvement from the crap I used to buy when I was home alone. I definitely have an emotional eating issue which is going to be the biggest hurdle in my quest to eating healthier.

I did weigh myself and am down to 176.5 from 183 on Day 1 of my challenge, so that's super exciting! I have been far from perfect with my goals, but it just goes to show that little tweaks and awareness have been helping.

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 15

Nope, it just didn't happen today. Keeping myself awake and taking care of Elliott was enough activity for the day, even though I know in theory that working out is supposed to energize you.

Eggs for breakfast, salad w. black beans and veggies for lunch, a taco salad minus the shell for dinner and plain yogurt w. honey for dessert kept me functioning today. That and 2-3 cups of coffee!

I feel a fizzle happening with this challenge and it's discouraging. On one hand I feel like life happens and you can't be 100% on all the time, but on the other hand I feel like I committed to 21 days and I should just suck it up. The story of my life, I don't know which side to listen to!

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 14

Oh boy, last night was rough with a capital R! Elliott is definitely sick and poor thing was so stuffy and snotty. It got progressively worse throughout the day so I called his doc just to see if he had any pointers since this is Elliott's first official cold (damn gym). They just had me come in for a quick office visit and I used that as an opportunity to get my 30 min. of activity in since I was pretty darn tired myself and knew Elliott needed extra attention. Luckily we are about a 10-15 min. walk to the doc's office, so I walked Elliott over there and stopped at the store on the way back for soft tissues, Vapor bath and all the other goodies needed for a cold. Fun.

My brain is mush when it comes to remembering what I ate, but I do know that I've been keeping in line and not going overboard with my eating, so that's a plus.

One more week of the challenge and it will be challenging with a sick baby, that's for sure!

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 13

The day isn't over and realistically I COULD still workout, but I'm not. ::Sigh::

We went to the pool at the gym today and did some Babies R' Us and Whole Foods shopping. Elliott appears to be starting with a cold or some other snotty condition. The last time he was stuffy was when he was 6 weeks old and now he's 8 1/2 months old, so I'm guessing the gym childcare might have something to do with it. I have a reservation at noon tomorrow for the childcare, but if he's still sneezing and has a runny nose I'm not taking him. Looks like it might be a day for the BOB or coordinating with George so I can get to the gym by myself.

Eggs for breakfast, salad for lunch and adobo chicken for dinner. My husband is too good to me and all these posts makes me realize I need to cook more (or at all)! Of course I couldn't pass on the greatest summer beer that we just discovered last weekend, O'Fallon Wheach Peach Wheat Beer.

Overall I'm still doing pretty good and have gone from around 183 to 179 in 13 days. Nine more pounds to go to get to my pre-pregnancy weight, but at least it's going in the right direction. Once I hit that weight then the REAL work begins!

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 12

I tried a new machine at the new gym, it was some sort of Precor that was a mix of elliptical, stairstepper and the Gazelle. I like that I can mix up my workout a little even though I'm not doing anything crazy different. By the time my 30 min. workout was done and I went to daycare Elliott was not a happy camper. They have a glass partition door and he was on his knees with his hands up against the glass, it was a very sad and pathetic sight. I think next week I will keep the workouts short and try to pump some snacky bottles and go during off-peak times. Fingers crossed that he will start to like the place and get to know the sitters. I feel comfortable with the caregivers and the facility, now I just need to convince Elliott.

Good eating day, although I did have a couple drinks at night. At least we didn't go crazy with eating after drinking like we usually do. George made Korean short ribs, once again a very yummy dinner from my hubs!

Crisis Management: JJ Cole Travel Blanket

What would I do without you JJ Cole Travel Blanket? Probably curse and complain about the broken zipper and origami skills needed to fold up my old travel blanket.

Seriously everytime I bring this blanket out I mutter a quick "I love you blanket". I think my husband is getting sick of it, but my mommy friends are quite impressed and I think I'm starting a cult following with this thing. If there is a better outdoor blanket out there I'd like to see it.

It wicks off spilled juice like nobody's business and is a breeze to fold up and carry, what else do you need? I can see I'm not alone in my adoration of this blanket!

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 11

Can I have a do over day?

Totally skipped the 30 min. of activity, although I did spend the day at the park with Elliott and friends. Walking from the parking lot to the pavillion and then to the swings does not count as activity though.

Eating was just as spectacular today. I didn't realize our outing would be close to four hours long so I only had a granola bar in the diaper bag. Luckily my friends and their kids planned accordingly, so my whole morning and afternoon meals consisted of granola bars and gummy bears. We did have sushi for dinner, so I kind of redeemed myself at that point.

The Gym Daycare Dilemma

Sure, this week was the first week of dropping off Elliott at the gym daycare, but it just wasn't sitting right with me. I even posted on message boards and felt temporarily reassured when people would put things in perspective and tell me that it's only one hour out of the day, so I should just enjoy my workout and not worry about the childcare being less than stellar.

I kind of believed them and quieted my inner mommy instinct. Then I went to visit Lifetime Fitness today and knew that my instinct was right. Even if it's just a couple hours a week, my son deserved to be in an environment that made him feel welcome and cared for, not just plopped in front of a tv as an afterthought. Ugh, the thought of that makes me cringe now.

Here are some things that I did not like about the first gym, maybe some people can relate?

• The whole childcare room is a complete afterthought. There are toys and there are two sitters, but it just feels like a room to put your kid while you workout with the added bonus of two adults on hand.
• They only allow one hour to workout. Which part of the one hour classes that you offer should I skip? The warmup or the cooldown?
• You need to make an appointment for infants under 1 and not walking. That's fair. Then why do I feel like he is not getting any individual attention and is instead put in a ball pit, exersaucer, in front of a video or walked around in his stroller while you read a magazine?
• I have been in the childcare room 3-4 times now and I have never seen any of the women actually playing with the kids. You only work a 4 hour shift in the morning, maybe show a little interest in kids? Hmm?
• Once fall rolls around one of the childcare rooms will be right off the main entrance to the community center. This just feels wrong to me on so many levels.

Now onto the positive side of things. What I like about Lifetime Fitness after just one day:

• Separate infant space so the bigger kids don't hit or trample the little ones. They do this for dog parks, it's nice to see the same consideration being given to children.
• Individual cubbies for baby's diaper bag and a board for notes for the caregivers and from the caregivers about naps, bottles, time crying, etc.
• Wow, people looking like they enjoy being around kids and playing with them!
• Two hours of childcare per day included in the $6/mo. fee for the child. Where can you find childcare at such an affordable price and in such a great facility?
• Real security measures, you have to be buzzed out of the room so you don't just take off with a kid or a kid doesn't just wander off.

There is a lot more, but my first impression was that a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I can take care of myself while knowing that Elliott is being well cared for as well. Win, win!

Here is an article with a checklist of things to look for in a gym daycare. I wholeheartedly agree with her points and wish I read it before leaving Elliott somewhere I didn't feel 100% about. I really need to get over second-guessing myself with this whole mothering thing!

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 10

Well, I went with my gut and took the plunge and changed gyms today. It was an unexpected decision since I was perfectly content with our current gym until this week when I took Elliott to the childcare there.

I'm loving the new gym already and feel 100% comfortable with the childcare, so that is huge. We joined Lifetime Fitness this afternoon and did our first workouts there as well. I did a 30 min. mix of elliptical and treadmill. I really need to up my running time, my mind is hitting a big wall when it comes to getting past 10 consecutive minutes. Why?

Did well with the eating side of things as well. We got salads from the cafe at the gym and had homemade eggdrop soup for dinner and strawberries and blueberries for dessert.

I can't believe I'm 1/2 way through my challenge already! Not too shabby.

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 9

Hooray, I have finally caught up on my daily posts!

Today was another gym day and day 2 of leaving Elliott at the gym daycare. I only did a little over a mile on the treadmill even though I planned on doing a 20 min. jog, but my mind was on my little boy. When I dropped him off there were three crying kids in the room so I didn't know if he would succumb to the peer pressure and join in the crying festivites or if he would be ignored and crack open his skull because the crying kids were too distracting for the sitters. I think I am better off doing elliptical or lifting weights instead of trying to squeeze in actual training runs while Elliott (or myself) is transitioning into the daycare setting. I picked him up after only 30 min. and he was all smiles for me, so I hope this trend continues!

Eating, hmmm. Not too shabby, but George made a coleslaw salad with bacon and I just couldn't stop. He actually had to say "Um Kim, I think you're having a little too much of that salad" and I agreed and finished the heap that I just put on my plate. Oops! I'm starting to see that I need more structure with my eating since it is too easy for me to slowly slip into junky eating without it.

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 8

Day "Ate" is right! Why is it that I can't step foot in Target without heading over to the Jelly Belly section and getting a bag of sour balls? It all started when I was pregnant and now the Target symbol is my Pavlovian bell for these fine candies! I vow that next time I step foot in Target I will have more will power and break that connection in my brain.

It was a sleepy kind of day and I didn't get to the gym for my run either, I just did a 30 min. walk around the neighborhood. While it's great that I'm keeping up with at least walking, I know it's not enough and I can't continue to use it as my crutch instead of doing a "real" workout.

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 7

Well I made it through one week of the challenge and it hasn't been that hard (yet)!

This morning I went to the gym and did 30 min. on the elliptical. It was also the first day that I dropped off Elliott at the gym's daycare. Not a complete failure, but it definitely could have gone better. I will touch on this in a separate post.

Once again Chef George kept me eating healthy with Chicken Tortilla Soup and pasta with tomatoes and basil for dinner. Yum!

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 6

Today was a new day after my disappointing 5k. We spent the morning walking around the local arboretum and it was beautiful and recharged my spirit. A very pleasant way to meet my 30 min. activity requirement.

I really need to start cooking, but I have to thank George for helping me stay on track with healthy eating. He made a chicken and broccoli stir-fry that hit the spot. Whenever he eats like crap or decides to make crappy food, I happily join him and that needs to stop. We once lived apart for 5 months when I was going to go to law school and I really lost a lot of weight and had good momentum with my eating habits once we lived together again. I just need to get that eating independence back!

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 5

So....my 5k was a bit of a disappointment. I only ran 1/2 of it and let my mental hurdles get in the way of persevering and running the whole thing. The reasons/excuses I had were:

• My running watch died. It is kind of my security blanket on a run and I had no clue what my pace was by the time I hit the 1 mile marker.


• Elliott woke up 5 times to eat, I was near tears with exhaustion by morning.


• Horribly unorganized race. They didn't separate the runners and walkers at all, so the first mile was spent dodging walkers. Plus, having all those walkers around me did not help motivate me or give me that adreneline rush of a race.

Needless to say the mental challenge was much more harder to overcome than the physical challenge. I did feel the sting of tears when I decided to make it a walk instead of a run, but I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. However, I should not have had an all or nothing mentality about the race, that I know for sure.

We had a BBQ at a friend's house and I dipped a few too many dips, but overall I ate pretty good.

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 4

Today was a day filled with travel and unfortunately I didn't get in my 30 minutes of activity. I made the excuse of trying to take it easy the day before my first 5k, but I know I could have done a quick walk during the day. I just didn't make it a priority and that's exactly where I have fallen short before and where this challenge becomes more challenging.

On the other hand I resisted my bad habit of junking it up when I get to my parents' house, which was no small feat. George picked up some awesome salads from the supermarket and when I got to their house I grabbed a banana vs. loading up on candy, cheese or whatever kind of junk food they have on hand. No wonder I have issues with food when I see how that house is stocked and it wasn't much different growing up.

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 3

I managed to squeeze in my 30 min. of activity by taking a walk with Elliott shortly before going out for a much needed Girls' Night Out with some friends. I'm really feeling like the accountability of the blog and my 21 day challenge is making a difference because I know I would have otherwise skipped the walk.

We headed out to Bar Louie for dinner and I am quite proud of my choices. Yes, I had a Heineken Light, but prior to leaving I checked out meal ideas for the restaurant on The Daily Plate and in turn chose the Baja Fish Tacos for dinner. They were really good and the girls complimented my food choice because it did look like the most appealing meal on the table and they had no clue that I had picked the healthiest thing on the menu.

I love that I can go out and enjoy my night, but still make small changes that will hopefully have big results in the long run!

Newborn Nips

Besides the painful nipples in the beginning and around the clock feedings, breastfeeding has been a very enjoyable and easy part of parenting for me.

Then my first post partum period reared her ugly head last month. On one hand I was happy to feel a bit of my pre-pregnancy self returning, but I am already changing enough diapers during the day! It came and went without much issue, but about a week ago my nipples have started hurting whenever Elliott latches and I think it is related to menstruation. I really hope this goes away soon because I am starting to cringe at the beginning of every nursing session and that is the last thing I want to be experiencing with my 8 month old. My goal is to breastfeed at least a year so I should know to expect some bumps in the road, right?

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 2

So far, so good! I would hope so since I'm only 2 days into this bad boy challenge of mine. I started the day with a run outside. Did I mention I have my first post-baby 5k this Saturday and I basically started getting serious about my running about a week ago? I was actually signed up to do the Chicago Rock N' Roll 1/2 Marathon in about 10 days, but obviously that isn't happening. Although I am slightly disappointed in myself for slacking on the running front, I am trying to appreciate what I am doing and not be so hard on myself. I set my timer for 30 minutes and ended up doing about 2 min. of walking at the 1/2 way point, but finished strong after that. Hopefully I can do the 5k without walking, that would be my first goal and I'm not even going to think about my time for this race. I figure it will be my starting point and all other races should just be improvements upon this one.

Pretty good with the eating again, although I had one too many Fiber One bars for one person's digestive system to take in one day! I've been focusing on keeping snacks small and eating more fruits and veggies, I think this will be key to not feeling deprived and like I'm on a diet. For dinner my husband made a Tortilla Soup that he saw on "Just Cook This!". Fantastic and really healthy and filling! I'm not the cook in our family, but I think my husband is slowly making me a convert by watching this show because the recipes are really, really easy and look so tasty.

21 Day Fitness Challenge: Day 1

I need to take my measurements because I have a feeling my size will change more than the actual weight on the scale and I don't want to be discouraged.

Anyways, the first day was a bit of a soft start. I had a really rough day with Elliott since he has started crawling and separation anxiety is in full effect and he refused to nap in his crib. I did end up taking a 45 minute walk around the neighborhood and it did wonders for my sanity and met my 30 minute activity criteria for the challenge.

I also succeeded with the healthy eating aspect for Day 1. My personal success happened at Caribou Coffee when I was tempted to get something totally decadent to "make me feel better", but instead I paused to look at the menu and got this:

Heck yeah! This is not exactly nature's finest with the sugar-free syrup and flavorings, but the Caramel Northern Lite Cooler is only 100 calories and super yummy. I sipped away while I took my long walk and all was right with the world again!

My 21 Day Challenge: Eating/Exercise

We just got back from a week-long vacation filled with fudge, beer and enough Cheetos to make me turn a fine shade of orange! I really hate that I am still not taking my weight loss seriously enough. It's great that I have a new level of comfort with my body, but I don't want to get too comfortable.

I have heard that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, so I am challenging myself to 21 consecutive days of exercise and eating healthy. I define exercise as doing at least 30 minutes of activity and eating healthy as not going bonkers and overindulging like I tend to do (that's a post in and of itself). I know I may tweak the eating part as I go along to be a bit more defined than that, but for right now I have the fridge stocked and the mind ready! Wish me luck!

Letting babies swim in lakes?

We just got back from an impromptu trip to a lake house with our friends, sweet! It was a good dry run for our week long vacation at my aunt's cabin next week.

First I was concerned because of the baby float recall and fish biting off my son's toes since they might look like worms, but then my friend made me think swimming with baby was like taking a dip in the sewer. I know we all have our different levels of comfort so I just bit my tongue and promised myself to do a little research just in case I'm wrong by letting Elliott swim in the lake next week. This is another symptom of my "Mommy Life Crisis", second-guessing EVERYTHING even though I used to feel so confident in my choices for myself or even as a nanny to other people's kids.

So here is what I found regarding babies swimming in lakes, rivers, etc.:

Baby Center gives us the OK since he is almost 8 months old, although they caution about the temperature of the water and a baby's ability to regulate their body temperature. They say that lakes are just as safe (or not) as pools when it comes to bacteria and the like.

Not sure how legitimate eHow is, but they suggest waiting until baby is 6 months and their immune system is developed before swimming with baby.

Bacteria seems to be an issue in pools and open bodies of water, so keep swallowing of said water to a minimum. This article's fun fact about the amount of feces that hangs out on our butts makes my stomach churn. They do make a good point about not swimming after it rains or in lakes that are identified as unsafe.

Or Elliott could lose his nose to a flesh-eating bacteria, yum!

I'm glad I researched this and personally feel OK swimming in a lake with Elliott next week. I can go back to living under my bacteria-laden rock!

The Great Divide

Just as I'm starting to embrace being a SAHM, it happened. One of my best friends, a mom who works outside of the house, pretty much implied that my life as a SAHM is one big vacation. Ouch!

Maybe it hurts more because it was a good friend who should know better or maybe it is because deep down I still feel conflicted about staying at home full-time? I know I should just brush it off because this will not be the last time somebody makes a comment about my parenting choices. It's amazing how becoming a parent can really test your relationships with friends that are also parents. I'm not going to lie, I judge some decisions that people make, but I like to believe that I have more tact than to say something about my judgemental thoughts (I'm working on banishing the judging internally as well).

I miss my old relationships with my friends when we didn't care what each other did for a living. I never got flack for choosing to go into Forensic Psychology, so why do people feel the need to make disparaging remarks about my job as a full time mom? Why do I care so much what others think? Maybe that is the real question here.

This mommy thanks you, Billy Mays!

As I sit here waiting for my OxiClean spray/paste concoction to do it's magic on Elliott's swing cover (no thanks to Huggies), I just wanted to say that becoming a mom has really brought out my stain fighting skills.

It's definitely not one of my favorite things about being a mom, but I have a weird sense of pride in my new abilities to take out any stain. When Elliott was a newborn many a onesie was thrown in the trash, but now I haven't met a blowout that I couldn't beat. Score one for mommy!

The trick is to quickly get the item rinsed off and under hot water. I then spray it with OxiClean spray until it's saturated and put a bunch of the powdered OxiClean over it and get it a little wet so that it becomes a paste. Let it sit for about 10 min. and then rinse and repeat as necessary. Voila!

NOT 179

I guess stepping on the scale the other day would have been a more accurate way to figure out my weight. I did it this morning and found that I am not 179 pounds, but rather 183, ugh! Denial has caught up with me big time. So my beginning stats have changed by 4 additional pounds, although I'm hoping that most of that is water weight from being up in Wisconsin (it happens every.single.time I go there).

Ballgame breastfeeding

We took Elliott to his first baseball game yesterday. It was fun, but I think we spent a good 30 min. or so trying to figure out a place for me to nurse him. I didn't realize we had bleacher seats since we were going with a group and if you have sat in bleacher seats before you'd realize they aren't conducive to breastfeeding a wiggly 7 month old. So the search was on and we were directed towards some gross bathrooms and finally Guest Services and they told me to go to First Aid. I walked into that room and realized I asked for a "Nursing Station" and they most likely thought I was looking for a nurse, not TO nurse. Oh well, there was a spot behind a curtain next to the microwave for me to feed Elliott and it all worked out in the end. It was air conditioned and I had access to a bathroom without a line, so that was a perk too. I just wonder if this was indeed the official breastfeeding spot for mothers and their infants.

I was trying to find out what kind of facilities other stadiums may have and I only found this story about breastfeeding at Gillette Stadium. Reading it made me want to go back to Miller Park and breastfeed Elliott in our seats instead of wasting two or three innings trying to find a clean spot to feed him.

9 months on, 9 months off

I had high hopes of losing all the baby weight by breastfeeding at this point. Alas, hopes alone do not take off weight! I do understand that this will take time, but the longer I wait to be proactive about my weight loss, the more I fear that I will never lose it. Besides being active, I think my first step will be to write down what I am eating. I did Weight Watchers a couple months ago and lost 6 pounds in 2 weeks, but for some reason I gave up and have remained at 179 for about 2-3 months. I felt OK about myself, but then I saw this picture:

So here are my current stats and my first goal. I'm going to give myself small goals so they are more realistic and attainable.

Height: 5' 6 1/2"

Weight: 179

Size: Good question, but I think I'm a solid 12, sometimes 14

Just do it

Some days I just feel so overwhelmed with my lack of sleep and lack of motivation. I've been waiting until I could find the perfect topic for a blog post and then realized that I just need to do it. Don't wait for perfection to happen in parenting, my body or even a silly little blog post. I'm hoping that by taking one baby step towards being a productive person each day that I will start to see myself in a different light. So what did I do today?


I was quite pleased with myself when I made Elliott some homemade applesauce. Nothing crazy, just went to the store and bought some organic Gala apples, steamed them up and put them in the Magic Bullet for a nice puree. He liked it and I even have some for a freezer stash!

Me Time

The biggest challenge for me right now is having time for myself. I knew this might happen, but I always thought that this was something that weaker women ended up doing. Women that didn't put themselves first and let their children rule the roost. I find myself slowly becoming that very woman and that needs to change. While I think women like Ayelet Waldman might be taking it a bit too far, I also have the utmost respect and adoration of their commitment to themselves. So maybe my first challenge to reclaim "me" is to go out and get her book and actually read it. Reading used to be something that I loved and was one of the first things to go once Elliott was born. First it was because it took too much mental energy, but now I really don't know why I choose to watch "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here" instead of using those precious hours to read. Maybe it's because I can't wait to see when Janice Dickinson finally has a bowel movement?

I used to be (fill in the blank)

I'm using this blog to chronicle the confusion, fears, inspiration and joy of becoming a mother. Now that my son is almost 7 months old I am starting to realize there is a pattern among many new moms. We are thrown into a new normal while desperately trying to maintain our sense of self. Kind of like a mid-life crisis, but without the convertible, hence "The Mommy Life Crisis".