Mr. Momentum

I really want to make something of this blog, but my momentum is lagging a bit. I think it's because I have so much on my mind, I don't even know where to begin. Among these things:

• Do we put our house on the market soon and buy up? The dang First Time Homebuyers Credit extension, low interest rates and pretty much bottomed out prices are tempting. So is having a mortgage that is less than our rent in NYC and being able to do whatever the heck we want to with our extra money (not like we're swimming in it, but we're comfortable).


• Doing good with Weight Watchers and have lost 15.4 pounds as of today and have one pesky pound to lose to get to pre-pregnancy weight, so I'm a bit obsessed lately. Of course then my mind wanders to the hefty amount of weight I really need to lose on top of that, ugh.


• VBAC, VBAC, VBAC! I had a c-section with Elliott last year and the more I learn, the less I feel it was necessary. This kills me since I wanted to go completely natural and was under the care of a midwife, but in the end I feel screwed over by her and wonder if it would have been different if the other midwife was on call that night. I really hope that when we decide to TTC #2 that I can find a good healthcare provider that is VBAC-friendly. We have already decided a doula is a must!

• One car or two? We've been living with only one for the past 9 years, but having a baby and a husband that can't always take public transportation is making it tricky. I'm still leaning towards one, but every other week this discussion is renewed. :)

$42,000

This is the most I've made in a year-EVER! I know money isn't everything, but when you live in a high cost of living area and are adjusting to life as a SAHM, it starts to creep into your thoughts. Not to mention that I have a frickin' Masters degree and got into several law schools, but decided to follow my heart instead. I started a business in 2005 and just sold it this year, so where does that leave me? Will I ever make more than 42k in a year? I know I'm worth more than that, but how do I accomplish that while doing something I love (or at least something that feels worthwhile vs. just a job) and lets me focus on my priority in life, which is my family?

I think this is where a lot of my Mommy Life Crisis feelings stem from and the answers I long for.

I'm officially married!

Well, I am finally wearing both my wedding band and engagement ring again. I remember the night my wedding band was too tight in my second trimester. I could feel the blood pooling up and the ring wouldn't budge. George told me just to go to sleep and try again in the morning, but this put me into complete panic mode and I felt claustrophobic. I put my hand above my head to try to help the blood come back down and out of my purple finger. Finally I decided I would either lose my finger or my ring if I had to wait one more second, so I went to the bathroom and soaked my hand under ice-cold water and put some Aveda pomade on the finger to make it extra slippery and it was a success!

So it has been a long 15+ months since I've worn both my rings and I went a long time without any rings at all. At first it felt very weird being pregnant without rings, but it was even weirder looking like a single mom after Elliott was born. The weight just didn't fly off me like it did my friends, but slowly but surely I am finally doing it thanks to rejoining Weight Watchers (deets to follow).

If I had to do it over again

I would wait to get a dog until the kids are older. I love my dog, I really do, but I feel like she makes things a lot harder. Elliott loves to look for her, play with her and go splashing in her bowl, but I'm at my wit's end with her. As mentioned, getting Elliott to sleep has taken a turn for the worse. Add to that a dog barking when my husband comes home or her peeking in on Elliott to see if he's still there and it just makes the issue that much more difficult to handle. Not to mention the big poop that I stepped on with my bare foot as I was trying to get Elliott out the door for music class today....

Sleepy, but awake stopped working

I am not of the Cry It Out school of thought, but don't know what to do right now. I used to nurse Elliott to sleep and he'd go down just fine, then he pretty much started going down drowsy but awake and put himself to sleep. That's gone completely out the window and he's so sensitive to being put down now. I will admit he is crying in his crib right now because I'm really at a loss, but I'll head in there in a minute. Now that he's getting closer to a year I'm worried about creating bad habits about going to bed. He's even gotten to the point that I can't put him down unless he's nursed off of the left breast last! Needless to say, this is my new parenting dilemma and I'm sure I'll have plenty to say about it later, now I must go tend to my no nap boy!

Healthy Halloween Party Food

This week will have plenty of yummy temptations, but I'm determined to make Halloween a little healthier this year. I officially rejoined Weight Watchers meetings almost four weeks ago and have lost 8 1/2 pounds so I don't want to mess it all up now that I have some momentum going. On Tuesday we have a weekly playgroup and it's going to be a Halloween party for the kiddos. I told the mom I would bring something healthy, so now the hunt is on. I also need it to be simple since I'm a novice cook at best!

Last night George made Oven-Baked Cinnamon Pumpkin Dumplings and they were SO good! Definitely on the list of options, but they need to be baked (duh) and I'm not sure if I want to go that route and either bring them cold or use the host's oven.

I did just find the cutest Spooky Black Bean Hummus and I think this might be something I can handle. The blogger also figured out the WW points (only 1, yay!) and besides the artwork involved in making the web, I think I can swing this. I might take the easy way out and just buy pre-made black bean dip. I'll post a picture of my attempt later!

Turning over a new leaf

Here I go again. I am so focused on doing things perfectly that I end up not doing them at all. I realized that this blog is not just about getting the right hook to build traffic, but it should be an outlet for me. Once again it became a chore because I didn't have the right focus and it wasn't really about making me happy, but rather about making my "audience" happy. Well that chapter is done and hopefully I can move on and not make that mistake again (at least for awhile since it is in my nature to do so).

Just like all moms, I have my daily struggles, some big and some small. I know I'm not the only one thinking about where I stand in this crazy world now that I'm a full-time SAHM. I also know that I'm not the only one that can't pick out the perfect winter hat off of Etsy and obsess over it until I just end up with something fugly from Target!

Anyways, this is my first step back into my writing world and I'm really looking forward to seeing where the journey takes me.